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My next brilliant idea: adjustable length stem

I am an old man in lycra [1]. Back and shoulders do not allow me to stay aero for long periods, so I either have the bike set up for climbs or for aero. Since my rides usually have both, I’m always either wishing the bars were a bit closer or a bit farther away.

The mtb-ies have a solution for their version of this: the dropper post. Press a button, the bike seat goes up or down.

I want a slider stem, for lack of a better trademark. Press a button and the integrated stem slides out to 140mm to allow full aero. Press again and it retracts to 100mm for climbs. Sure, it’ll add a few grams. I can’t see that it will add any drag if done properly, and the trade is that it will reduce drag when extended. Cabling? Pshaw! Details.

Call my patent attorney, Silca. This will make tens if not dozens of dollars.

[1] Wish it were tiger-striped 80s climbing lycra [2], which is way better in the utilitarian sense than anything anyone is wearing today. Skin-tight means no wrinkles under your harness means less irritation means longer sessions. But it’s only cycling lycra which stands out not at all.
[2] Lycra is a blessing (if I’m wearing it) and a curse (if you are).