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My next brilliant idea: adjustable length stem

I am an old man in lycra [1]. Back and shoulders do not allow me to stay aero for long periods, so I either have the bike set up for climbs or for aero. Since my rides usually have both, I’m always either wishing the bars were a bit closer or a bit farther away.

The mtb-ies have a solution for their version of this: the dropper post. Press a button, the bike seat goes up or down.

I want a slider stem, for lack of a better trademark. Press a button and the integrated stem slides out to 140mm to allow full aero. Press again and it retracts to 100mm for climbs. Sure, it’ll add a few grams. I can’t see that it will add any drag if done properly, and the trade is that it will reduce drag when extended. Cabling? Pshaw! Details.

Call my patent attorney, Silca. This will make tens if not dozens of dollars.

[1] Wish it were tiger-striped 80s climbing lycra [2], which is way better in the utilitarian sense than anything anyone is wearing today. Skin-tight means no wrinkles under your harness means less irritation means longer sessions. But it’s only cycling lycra which stands out not at all.
[2] Lycra is a blessing (if I’m wearing it) and a curse (if you are).

Airplane movie reviews September 2023

Wherein I review movies that I’ll watch on an international flight that I would be unlikely watch at home [1]:


  • Renfield: The perfect role for Nic Cage’s hammy overacting. Maybe this is all of his recent ones. Dunno, generally have a very low tolerance for NC, but a friend recommended. It was okay.
  • The Covenant: Guy Ritchie knows how to make a movie. Jake G is an eminently watchable actor. Did not realize that his colonel was Zero Cool, which I guess is a huge tribute to his acting skills. The movie belongs to the unknown guy though. He was great. What’s with the deal of hiring remarkably non-Afghan actors to play the wives in these? See also in The Old Man [2].
  • Joy Ride: Recommended to me, but nope, couldn’t watch The Hangover/Bridesmaids again. See also superhero movies.
  • Bullet Train: This was okay when I ran out of everything else. I like Brad Pitt and some of the rest of the cast. Maybe the one guy would make a good Bond, but honestly I’d rather watch the woman that they had in the last movie. I tried to watch it again at home and the stupidity killed me. So this needs about six hours of sitting on a plane and three glasses of wine and a champagne to make it work.
  • Operation Fortune: Bad Guy Ritchie, bad Jason Statham. Always fun to watch whasshername be crazy and try to figure out how much of that is real
  • Emily the Criminal: Speaking of whasshername, good here. Some good moments. A real Primer vibe at the end. But so many ‘who would be that stupid’ moments. I guess a stupid person, but it’s difficult to have sympathy for someone who literally asks for it.
  • Nightmare Alley: The original was so much better. The book was so much better.
  • Babylon: The nudity was all pixelated out, so I decided to watch at home, not that I need nudity but it was super-annoying. Couldn’t get through it at home.
  • After Sun: This is the winner this year. This was amazing. Both actors were amazing. I can’t do coming of age movies [3]. This is not that, except that it kinda is but not how you’d think. I need/would like to watch this again but I’m not sure that I can. I’ve been recommending this strongly because I want someone else to watch it so that I can talk to them about it.
  • Licorice Pizza: Nope. Just nope. Creepy.
  • The Northman: Way better than I expected, in fact, really good. Might have to watch again on a big screen. Great cast. I really like the Viking dude who wasn’t a Skarsgard who I always get mixed up with the guy who’s not the Clive Owen Treadstone operative in the Bourne movies. Maybe because I’ll watch a movie with either of those guys who should both have more lead roles. For some reason, Vikings have been coming up in my reading over the last couple of years. I had read about three Viking-related books, and just finished Children of Elm and Ash. So given that I’m practically a Viking expert now, this tracked and was believable. Vikings were weird, man. How are we are ever going to think we might understand a Neanderthal when Vikings who are 49000 years closer to us were basically aliens?
  • Dr. Strange: Nope. Just nope. No more superhero movies.
  • It Ain’t Over – The Yogi Berra story: I’m not a sportsball fan anymore. I’d rather go do than watch or mythologize. And now that I can’t do much, there’s nothing left there anymore. I’ll watch a Tik-Tok of the women’s pole vault or a summary of the Vuelta. But Yogi seemed like a straight-up nice guy and stealth superstar with a mugs face. You can’t argue that he should have been out on that field with Hank Aaron. Johnny Bench? Pshaw. Fuck that right wing nut job.
  • Don’t Worry Darling: Well done, utterly predictable.
  • Nope: Maybe I should have watched this on a big screen in a dark room. It had some stunning imagery. I always wondered about those 50s TV monkeys… But utterly predictable plot.
  • Tully: Great cast, couldn’t finish it.
  • Weird – The Weird Al Story: Many LOLs. Didn’t expect to like it, and wouldn’t watch it again, but it was perfect for the airplane.


[1] If I’m interested I’ll usually save it for watching on a big screen with good sound.
[2] Breaking my rule of not watching until it’s ended. Where’s Season 2? Need that before Jeff Bridges dies. The two actors they have playing the young versions are chef’s kiss. [4]
[3] Shrinks, start your engines.
[4] Not starting The Bear, wishing I hadn’t started the copaganda version of Justified.

The usual blather from the usual idiots

Not going to link to my favorite clueless-hate-read/podcast-listen, but here’s the typical demonstration of the path to right-wing nut-jobbery no-empathy-until-it-happens-to-me-or-mine:


“Some of the saddest shit I’ve ever seen are injured climbers who try to keep climbing through their injury. Top-roping warm-ups with only three working appendages has always struck me as a pathetic use of time, something only a Genuine Loser would do […]

“That’s what I used to think, anyway. But now that I’m five weeks out from shoulder surgery to repair some rather significant tears in my rotator cuff, I get why so many climbers are anxious to get back to their old ways. “


Wait til he finds out about medical bills and aging.


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