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What it should have been

You know what the funniest thing about Europe is? If you ask for a gin and tonic, you get a little bit of gin poured over a lot of crushed ice, and a small bottle of tonic water. You get the right proportion of gin-to-tonic exactly one moment; from then on, you’re drinking gin-flavored watered down tonic water. At Roosevelt cocktail tabs.

Also pillows. And duvets. And twin beds pushed together as a substitute for a real human-sized bed [1]. And bug screens (lack of). And fans (lack of).

Royale with cheese my ass.

[1] and everyone in the northern Scandinavian countries is over six feet tall, including women. What’s up with the short-ass skinny beds?