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I’m surprised I have to keep telling you this

If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him.

–Attributed to Armand Jean du Plessis, Cardinal-Duc de Richelieu et de Fronsac (9 September 1585 – 4 December 1642)

Don’t write anything you can phone. Don’t phone anything you can talk. Don’t talk anything you can whisper. Don’t whisper anything you can smile. Don’t smile anything you can nod. Don’t nod anything you can wink.

–Attributed to Earl Long