BWare

I travel frequently. I go to some effort to make it look like someone is home – not that I have anything worth stealing unless you like expensive photography books. My TV is still 1080p fer chrissakes. My stereo is from 1982, and it’s not one of the vintage ones that’s worth a lot of money on eBay (MacIntosh was expensive even back then). Still, it’d make my life difficult to replace them and they work well enough. A PITA.

So I have the lights and sprinklers on timers. I stop the mail. I hold the packages.

Nonetheless, I’m gone for a week and I come home to this:

plus a bunch of those goddamn unstoppable LA Times Spanish language HOY! fliers. That’s seven (7) that you can see there, and a bunch more behind the gate and in the mailbox.

Thanks, assholes, for unstoppably advertising that there’s no one home. I can guarandamtee you that 2 Guys From Italy are never getting any orders from me, nor are the house-cleaning services and the tree-trimmers.