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{ Category Archives } Climbing

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Enshittification comes to climbing

For some reason I’m getting spam emails from some new vulture-capital-funded bullshit company that I have no business relationship with, and who should therefore not be spamming me with their bullshit. Their spiel is that they’ve helped themselves to the Mountain Project database, generated by work contributed gratis from users, for other users, and are […]

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The usual blather from the usual idiots

Not going to link to my favorite clueless-hate-read/podcast-listen, but here’s the typical demonstration of the path to right-wing nut-jobbery no-empathy-until-it-happens-to-me-or-mine:   “Some of the saddest shit I’ve ever seen are injured climbers who try to keep climbing through their injury. Top-roping warm-ups with only three working appendages has always struck me as a pathetic use […]

Climbing ethics

I was once again listening to the dynamic climbing duo [1] while working out in the backyard [2]. Now they’re complaining that, if you roll up to one of the most popular crags in the US, in prime season, with four kids [3] and a huge posse, you get to be all pissy if the […]

Sekrit crag rant

What’s the first rule of Fight Club sekrit crags? [1] Don’t talk about Fight Club sekrit crags. I just listened to a couple of bozos complaining on a podcast that shall not be named [2] that they had been invited to a sekrit crag, and weren’t able to talk [3] about it, and they were […]

This is why I don’t buy 5.10 anymore

This is every pair of 5.10 approach shoes I’ve ever owned (except the size 12 Daescents which turned out to be really size 11, and haven’t gotten worn much). The big wall boots (two pairs), the guide shoes (several pairs), half a dozen different pair. All delaminate unexpectedly at some point when you are five […]

Traditional

I keep running into self-designated “trad” [1] climbers at well-known sport crags. They make their disdain of this bastardization of their religion clear [2] but so many of their friends do it, and seem to have fun, they grit their teeth and give it a try. But never let you forget that this isn’t “real” […]

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New climbing words

When did “multipitch” become a thing? The same time “trad” became a verb? “Multipitch” is also verb, and adverb. I can’t remember what we called it BITD. Just climbing, I think.

Trash

I just went for a walk at the local mountain bike trailhead. In the full-to-overflow parking lot, there’s one trash can, no toilet, and cars parked down the street for a mile. Behind the first tree on the trail are uncountable fresh human turds, not to mention the inevitable dog and horse shit [1]. Turns […]

It goes, boys!

To quote my friend LH with regard to something she did a while back. Honnold solos El Cap. Not exactly a surprise, as most everyone expected that it would be done, and he’d be the one to do it, but still, a welcome surprise. Well done, sir! What is also not surprising is the pearl-clutching […]

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Bliss + letdown = constant

Climbing makes me happy. Being a position where I have to rely on others to belay me and thus dependent on their flakiness makes me unhappy. I propose, that like the amount of sunlight that any given spot on the earth receives in a year [1], this relationship is bounded on the lower end by […]

Linear relationship between excellence and sociability

The harder I climb, the friendlier people are to me. Below V5/5.12, I’m invisible. Above that, people start talking to me out of the blue. I’m pretty sure my RBF is the same above and below. Same thing happened when I was running sub-55s 400m and sub-7 miles.

If it weren’t for rocks, we’d all be surfers

This person would be an awesome climber. She gets it. I don’t surf. I wish I did, but I grew up on the ocean of the Great Plains. Climbing is like this. Maybe moreso. Everyone fails, all the time. If you aren’t failing, you aren’t trying hard enough. Unless you are Adam Ondra or Alex […]

Climbing skin product review 2016

Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Hand: Insanely expensive, but really good, and really odor free. On the other hand, an 8 oz tube will last years. Be careful to get the right thing, there are lots of knockoffs and different versions and small tubes sold for full price. This is nice if you don’t want to […]

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Flyover territory

How is it possible to have a West Coast tour that goes to San Diego and SF, but doesn’t stop in LA? I mean, LA went from having basically no gyms [1] to having about 15 [2], including one listed as one of the best in the US in a recent climbing rag [3]. If […]